Ever found yourself doing something out of anger, only to regret it moments later? You are not alone, we all have been there. Anger is a powerful emotion and one the primary emotions as described by Paul Ekman. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), “Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.” It can be a reaction to both external events (like conflicts or injustice) and internal thoughts (such as worrying or overthinking past events). In this blog post we will talk about how to manage effectively.
Anger is a biological survival mechanism triggered by the amygdala in the brain, often preparing the body for a “fight” response. It inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviours, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival. While it once helped humans survive threats, today it more often emerges in response to emotional or psychological stressors.
People can process their anger both consciously and subconsciously. Angry feelings, disagreements or a fight with someone are the conscious way of expressing anger, while when such feelings are suppressed and bottled up inside comes under our subconscious.
Everybody experiences anger but some are more likely to experience it than others. People with Type A personality (competitive, impatient, high-strung) often have a shorter fuse. People raised in an environment where anger was considered a normal response were more likely to grow up as angry individuals. Chronic stress, burnout or feeling undervalued can lead to bottled-up frustration and can also lead to anger issues.
Why are some people angrier than others?
Why do people curse when angry and How to Overcome Anger?
People lacking Emotional Vocabulary tend to swear as they haven’t learnt to properly express themselves hence resort to coursing. When someone feels powerless, curse words can create a temporary sense of dominance or emotional release. Swearing acts as an emotional amplifier. It helps people vent the intensity of their emotions in a raw, immediate way and eventually helps to overcome anger.
Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive restructuring is a group of therapeutic techniques that help people notice and change negative thinking patterns and overcome anger. When thought patterns become destructive and self-defeating, mental health professionals can help you explore ways to interrupt and redirect them. That’s what cognitive restructuring can do. When you’re angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, “Oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, everything’s ruined,” tell yourself, “it’s frustrating, and it’s understandable that I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow.” Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational.
IDENTIFYING YOUR TRIGGERS
It’s important to overcome anger, note your triggers making you angry to overcome the anger issues. What sets you off is the people around, situations or specific thoughts. To find the root cause of the anger issues it’s crucial to identify patterns in behaviour which leads to feeling angry and to overcome anger. Keeping a journal or noting down your triggers can help you understand patterns and respond more mindfully.
Here are 8 ways How to Deal with Anger effectively.
1. Think Before Speaking
Often in a fit of anger we say things we don’t mean and tend to regret it later. Therefore, it’s crucial to think before speaking to effectively manage and overcome anger, it stops us from doing or saying things we might regret later. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Also allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Practising Grounding and Mindfulness
When angry it’s always better to take a few deep breaths and ground yourself to overcome anger in that moment. Mindfulness activities like journaling can be helpful to manage anger issues. It also helps bring subconscious issues to light and manage anger effectively.
3. Regular Exercise and Yoga
Yoga is often seen as one of the best methods to overcome anger issues and often used in Anger Management Therapies. Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run as it is one of the best anger management tips.
4. Communicate Clearly and Assertively
Communicating clearly can help you put your point across without any misunderstanding which might lead to a conflict later. Criticizing or placing blame might only increase tension. Instead, use “I” statements to describe the problem.
5. Not Holding Grudges
If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Forgiving someone can reduce anger leading to effectively managing anger and is one of the good ways to stay calm.
6. Channel your Anger in Positive Outlets
When feeling angry try to redirect that energy into more creative outflows like painting, dancing, writing or any sort of sport and exercise. These activities help to channel the anger issues in a healthy way.
7. Creating an Anger Management Plan
Having a strategic plan specifically to overcome anger is a helpful way to manage anger. Not only can you identify triggers you can also take note of frequency of anger outbursts. You can note calming and grounding techniques also setting clear boundaries.
8. Seeking professional help
Learning to control anger can be a challenge at times. It’s always better to seek help from a professional trained for anger management if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. Going to therapy can help you make progress, mental health institutions like MindSage provide online therapy with certified counselors at an affordable cost.
You can’t eliminate anger from your life as a universally experienced emotion and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could. Despite your efforts there will be situations which will make you angry or maybe unpredictable actions of others and sometimes it’s justifiable but it’s important to understand you can’t change people or situations. With patience and practice, you can turn your anger into a tool for personal growth and healthier relationships. You can control anger before it controls you.
Conclusion
You can’t eliminate anger from your life as a universally experienced emotion and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could. Despite your efforts there will be situations which will make you angry or maybe unpredictable actions of others and sometimes it’s justifiable but it’s important to understand you can’t change people or situations. With patience and practice, you can turn your anger into a tool for personal growth and healthier relationships. You can control anger before it controls you.
